Laila Hanou shares an unfiltered love letter to herself. It’s honest, it’s raw and it’s absolutely beautiful. Laila perfectly articulates why loving ourselves first, should be paramount. We recommend reading this if you’re feeling a little lost in your relationship with your number one – aka, you.

Written by Laila Hanou

Disgraceful Contributor

Dear me, 

Your piercing hazel green eyes are like fire, you warm every part of me. I love how indecisive and forgetful you are. I don’t see your flaws as burdens, I find them endearing. I applaud your ability to shut out the fear that roars in your mind, trusting that our journey is time. You have grown in drought, and for that I learn from you.  You stayed through the nights that were filled with loneliness and heaviness, and for that I am grateful for you. Oh how I love you for your mind, your creativity, your passion. I have never felt love like this, you showed me what it was always meant to be and what it was not. Most of all, I see a wonderful soul who deserves nothing less than to be loved. 

You know me like no one else does. You helped me find my strength to stand again at times when I couldn’t move. It was always you wiping the tears that always felt like a never ending river. I look at you now and I see a smile that is brighter than any sun, I see starry eyes that no longer hide behind darkness. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. The scars and emotional bruises I have endured over the years finally feel healed. You’ve taught me how to feel powerful in my body, feeling beautiful on my worst days, and learning to forgive my mistakes. I promise to, never expect you to be perfect, love you on your bad hair days, and to trust you. 

I have recently found that the thought of loving someone else terrifies me in ways I struggle to get over. But you have never once made me feel afraid. I once heard that love is a choice, paired with action. I choose to love you.

You, and you only, are my forever love