It’s fun, right? End of article? Casual sex is out of the closet and whilst many view this as a feminist statement that signals the end of slut shaming, have we really made headway? Although, in most circles, casual hook ups have become more accepted, but judgement has almost been turned on its head, whereby now high body counts are almost more lusted after (excuse the pun) than monogamy.
Whilst this is good news for those of us who enjoy these types of encounters, I have witnessed women come under pressure in recent times to ‘play the field’ whilst not in a relationship and abstain from entering into a new relationship until they have successfully achieved this or even end a relationship as to not miss out on these ‘experiences’.
As to anti-quote Courtney Love, we don’t all ‘fuck the same’, we all want different things from life and why should the way we interact with our sex lives be any different?
Which brings me onto to my next point, casual sex is becoming more acceptable, but for women there still exists an acceptable time frame in which to do so. Yes, it’s ok to play around in your twenties and late teens, but past the ubiquitous and societally imposed magic age of thirty, if a woman hasn’t changed the way she sexually interacts, there must be something wrong with her. She becomes untouchable or like a gorgon, come daylight hours her gaze must be avoided.
Our society pins so much power on sex. Whether positive or negative. So, does having casual sex regain some of the patriarchal power for women, or are we perpetuating it?
With countless articles online exploring the theme of ‘having sex like a man’, I.e., without catching feelings and being able to move on with our lives devoid of pining. This was also a topic explored in Sex and the City, where Carrie Bradshaw explores this notion but decides she enjoys meaning and monogamy in place of meaningless sex, again we’re all different.
But are we really still gendering people’s preferred sexual encounters in 2023? In fact, as a non-original viewer of Sex and the City, when I first saw this episode, I thought ‘having sex like a man’ was going to explore the theme of pegging. We don’t have to be masculine to enjoy hopping out of someone’s bed and back into the freedom of our own lives and it’s not as if this is a new notion women have copied from men and are only now exploring, as we now ‘try’ to fuck like men, just look at Joan Jett (or Samantha Jones if we’re staying on topic).
So, does what you do with your body have to be a political statement? Why does the age-old question always have to resurface, can’t women just exist and do what makes them feel good?
Whether meaningful or devoid of meaning, we just want it devoid of judgement. If meaningless sex is your thing, then it doesn’t need to have a meaning, it doesn’t make you a commitment-phobe; a slut; a feminist power freak, or whatever other derogatory terms there are. Similarly, drop the vanilla shaming for those who like sex to have meaning. Yours with meaning, women everywhere.
Disgraceful Magazine 